I can still remember the worst moment of my life when I tried to hang myself from a ceiling fan because of chronic anxiety and when a painful thought of my mother waiting at home stopped me from kicking away the table I was standing on. Back then, I was a 20-year-old guy, so broken inside that I tried to end my life without even thinking for a second.
At the lowest point of my life, I suffered from strange health problems that turned my life into a living hell. My life was so terrible that I saw no hope. It was all because of the constant manipulation, belittling, isolation and blame shift I experienced at the hands of my narcissistic roommate.
The terrible abuse didn't only make me feel as if I was the crazy one but also as if I didn't deserve to live at all. The experience was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
With no knowledge of boundaries and what I deserve, the abuser succeeded in destroying my self-respect, confidence, self-esteem and self-worth until I started to fade slowly into nothingness.
The abuse continued for two years till it left me with a broken spirit and a mental illness. It was when that toxic person tried to re-enter my life, I asked myself, "Do I have to keep allowing him to walk all over me?", "Do I deserve this kind of soul-destroying treatment?" Is this how I am supposed to live?"
I cut off all the toxic people from my life and started healing the unresolved trauma, which surprisingly was ancient than I thought. It was the abuse that I experienced as a child in my own family because of my father.
I continued to heal until I transformed into a stronger, wiser and better version of myself.